Rising in the East, Setting in the West

I have enjoyed many unforgettable sunsets through my lifetime.  Sunsets surrounded by close friends, and some solitary.  I have seen the sun disappear behind mountains, into oceans, and through skyscrapers.  From beaches, to mountaintops, to tea fields, to the barren badlands.  Sunsets have a funny way of helping us live in the moment.  As the sun dips closer to the horizon, we await every minute as the sun's last for the day.  We see the colors change, notice the shadows grow, feel the air grow cooler.  Everything seems to change as the day ends.  And yet we know that the sun will rise again in the morning, and set again in the evening.  All which causes the time to drag during sunsets provides us with the opportune time for introspection or reflection.

During my last weekend in Macedonia, I spent Orthodox Easter weekend in my original site, Prilep.  bidding farewell to my former counterparts and host family.  There was obviously no other place where I wanted to spend my final weekend in Macedonia.  Seeing everyone in Prilep during the Orthodox Easter holidays was a bonus to what would be an emotional experience.  As I wrote in a previous post about Orthodox Easter, families and friends often return to their hometowns, and thus there are countless opportunities to visit on "na gosti's" at others' places.  On Saturday night, young people also await Easter at midnight in front of a church, lighting candles and cracking eggs, and then celebrating Christ's resurrection by partying at the bars.  Overall, I did not have to pull any teeth in order to convince people to commemorate my final days in Prilep.

On Saturday morning, my former and current sitemates, Susan and Dave, joined me for a sunrise hike to Markovi Kuli, the ruins of the medieval Serbian king near Prilep.  It was a hike that I led many times to visiting volunteers and tourists, but now I was hiking the mountain for my final time as a Peace Corps volunteer.  We had originally intended to execute the hike during the sunrise, but Susan and I both agreed that sunrises are more beautiful, and I had never seen Prilep during sunrise from the ruins.  Even though rain clouds obstructed a pristine sunrise, the moment was as magical as I had imagined.  And while Prilep was waking up below us, I began pondering about my next journey in life.

Because while the sun sets and rises at different points in the sky, they are still part of the same day.  If we had hiked for a sunset, maybe I would have brooded over an end to a great experience.  And it dawned on me- experiences need to end so another may begin.   Put another way, I am not sad that I am physically leaving Macedonia (I always can and certainly will return for a visit).  Rather, my time as a Peace Corps volunteer has come to an end.  Everything that I had prepared for is finished, and compared to our structured lifestyle as Peace Corps volunteers, the way forward is unchartered open waters.  Yet, while harbors are designed to keep boats safe, boats are not designed to stay in a harbor.  My time as a Peace Corps volunteer has come, and I anticipate the next journey of my life. 

The following pictures courtesy of David Strouse, MAK19

Sunrise hike to Markovi Kuli

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Hardest of all is saying goodbye to the people that are closest to me here.  We met as strangers, but eventually the bonds with my host family and counterparts grew, allowing us to build a life around each other.  I think this is what makes saying goodbye as a Peace Corps volunteer most difficult- our work is most successful when we establish sincere bonds with host country nationals.  Yet while two years is a long time, it is still temporary, and ultimately relaxing those relationships to long-distance friendships is as difficult a goodbye as ever.  Peace Corps forewarned us that some PCVs may gauge the impact of their service by the number of people visibly sad to see them go.  In my opinion, it is a bittersweet indicator of success.

Still, I did not know that saying goodbye to my host family in Prilep could be so difficult.  Shortly after finishing our Easter meal, I had to depart to catch the bus back to Tetovo for my final week in Macedonia.  As I said goodbye to each person, tears continued to well up in my eyes.  I was on the verge of crying, knowing of course that I will likely visit them again very soon.  I think what impacted me the most was that this loving family took me in as their own, and treated me as such for two years.  They will always be my Macedonian family.  But still, an era is ending so that another may begin. 

My host family during our Easter meal in Prilep

In a way, extending helped to ease the process of COSing.  I have fewer farewells to bid since most of my MAK18 friends had departed before me.  Moving sites meant that I could concentrate my final reunion with host family and counterparts to one weekend. 

Overall, like most memorable sunsets in my life, this entire Peace Corps experience will forever be cherished.  I have enjoyed countless life-changing experiences during my past ~3 years here, which is more than I can say about the 3 years previous.  It has shaped me into a different person from whom I entered Peace Corps, for better or worse (I hope better).  As our former Country Director would often say, "No matter how much you give during your time in Peace Corps, you will always receive so much more". 

The sun is setting on my time here, but I am not melancholy.  I have optimized my Peace Corps experience, and I feel comfortable on my next path in life.  I can only hope for many more memorable sunsets and many more promising sunrises.