Friday, December 13, 2013

Going Crazy with Boredom

So the first week in Prilep was a sure success.  I set a plan for myself and implemented it flawlessly.  The tactic: I acted as a fly on the wall and observed how my counterparts worked with each other and approached projects through the organization. This tactic involved a lot of listening, shadowing my members, observing, waiting, and basically doing nothing.  But a lot was learned in that short time.

This week’s tactic: learn as much as I can about the organization so that I can begin brainstorming, identifying organizational needs, build on strengths, and address challenges.  The result- a grinding halt on all progress.  Peace Corps prepared us for this experience in Peace Corps- success in Macedonia is built on trust and relationships, not on accomplishments.  I have the trust of my organization, but the efficiency expected in America is not here in Macedonia, no matter how hard I push it.  Peace Corps’ advice- sit around with the counterparts over coffee and sneak in questions about the organization and its goals.  But as somebody famously said, “ain’t nobody got time for that!”  I can see how some of the issues with the organization are causing frustration for its leaders, but there is nothing I can do to help if I know nothing about how they operate.

A week ago I had sent a questionnaire to the leaders of AIESEC Prilep, but I only received the answers from one member.  The president had promised me a package with information about the organization, which I will receive soon, and we will have a meeting later today to review what we need to tackle over the next two months.  Otherwise, I have spent much of my time at work hanging out with the members, studying Macedonian, and learning about the Foreign Service Exam. 

For those family members and friends who know me well, you obviously understand how this stopgap of work and ensuing boredom is driving me crazy.  My former boss once called me a tyrant (and he called my supervisor Attila the Hun) due to the amount of work we did and were willing to carry.  There is something about solving a problem and improving efficiency that beckons.  So with this helpless feeling of futility I finally snapped earlier this week.

Posted on the Peace Corps FB group was a thread about PCVs celebrating Christmas either the weekend before or after.  People eventually decided to host a celebration in Skopje on the 27th and an event in Prilep on the 20th.  I recently discovered this proposal and thought that it would be great to introduce the idea of a Secret Santa for those who would come to our town.  When I proposed the idea to the other PCVs in Prilep through FB, they were a bit wary.  One wondered how many would come to Prilep, where they would stay, etc.  Although I tried to answer, I honestly did not know!  Another PCV had originally floated the idea on the group’s wall, and I assumed that the PCVs in Prilep would simply carry on the tradition from the year before.  Didn’t they know all of the details about the event?  Over time, I was posting overtures through FB messages to the other Prilep PCVs and eventually sounded like a nutcase who had his back against the wall.  And all I was trying to do was propose a Secret Santa!!!

In retrospect, my reaction to this small snafu was a reflection of my frustrations with my work situation overall.  I know nothing, and even when I try to propose an idea or project, I understand that I cannot even discuss it since I do not fully know how the organization operates.  An idea is only helpful if it can be implemented successfully within the organization. For example, while a Secret Santa sounded like a great idea, I made the mistake in assuming that the idea of hosting Christmas in Prilep was accepted by all of the volunteers here.  One volunteer would not even be in the country, another had no interest in hosting guests, and the original idea that was floated was, in the end, and empty gesture.  Sure, I could have avoided a lot of embarrassment if I had asked for more details, and yet the minor crisis also could have been averted if the other volunteers had notified me.  In the end, this incident was silly, but reconfirmed my initial thoughts about work- learn as much as possible before I act. 


So my tactic for the next weeks- improve my patience and continue to observe and learn, no matter how painstakingly long it may take.

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