Unless

Unless.  Invested in that word were a lot of feelings.  Hope.  Despair.  Fear.  Faith.  A prayer.  And a rational understanding of the existential risks.  Everything hinged on that one word, as if it were a sacred chant preserving the balance.  As if it were a barrier separating a reality I once enjoyed, and an impending doom that could strike at any moment.

When people, either Macedonians or Americans, learned that a Peace Corps service lasts 27 months, many would frequently ask, “Will you ever return to the USA during the middle of your service?”  My response was rote, “I don’t plan on it, unless something terrible happens to me or to my family back home.”  To those who received my response, I assume that they digested it with a quick rationale.  But every time I recited this phrase, I would think to myself, “What are the chances?”  “Have things improved at home?” 

Last year, my father became very sick.  His immune system struggled to fight a combination of bacteria and fungi.  He developed a severe case of pneumonia, and I only discovered recently that it was almost a miracle that he survived.  This all occurred around October, when I was only about a month and a half into my service. All I wanted to do was fix this, restore his health in some way.  Yet, there was nothing I could do.  Whether I was in Macedonia or Chicago, I was helpless, it was all up to him.  The only difference between me staying in Macedonia or returning to Chicago was that, if those were his last moments, I would have been by his side. 

But my father is a fighter, his body beat the infection, and I am overjoyed that I can speak with him on Skype again.  For the most part his life has returned to normalcy.  He eats pizza.  He gambles on horses at the OTB.  He can see me on Skype, walk around the room, and hold a conversation.  But he did not emerge from last year’s sickness unscathed.  He is a diabetic, and he struggles against the typical side effects of this disease.  Swollen feet.  Bad eyesight.  Problems with his heart.  In 2006, my stepmother donated a kidney to him since his went into failure.  Due to the combination of very strong drugs and antibiotics that helped him fight the infection, his kidney started to fail him again earlier this year.  A Facebook post by a relative, soliciting to our relatives back in the Philippines to donate a kidney, brought to my attention my father’s need for an organ transplant.

Compared to the ordeal last autumn, I was now empowered to make a difference, to help save my father’s life.  I feel a bit less helpless than I did last year.  That is why I have decided to return to the USA to begin the donation process.  As far as I know, this is a temporary trip that will only interrupt my service, not truncate it.  Aware of the impending health risks my father faced while I was in Macedonia, not only was I worried that something terrible would happen to him.  I also feared that I would interrupt or cut short my dedication to this Peace Corps service.  I feel horrible that I am leaving my host family and counterparts for an unforeseen amount of time.  They rely on me, put me into their schedules, their weekly habits.  Interrupting my Peace Corps service is not how I originally imagined it.  However, putting it hyperbolically, what good is trying to save the world if I cannot save my own father?

And we are not out of the woods yet.  In fact, we are just entering into it.  Maybe within a month I will be one kidney short, my father will have less to worry about.  On the other hand, maybe the doctors will determine that I am not a match, or that it is too risky for my father to undergo an operation anytime soon.  The next steps are too tentative at this moment for me to feel completely comfortable.  All rests on the tests my father and I will go through over the next week.  Despite not knowing for sure what is ahead for us, I am granted some solace knowing I can do more than hope or pray. 

A Second Set of Holidays Away from Home

Looking back, last December was probably the least memorable month of Peace Corps service for me, and I am somewhat surprised the poor spirits that I had then.  I was bored with work and completely confused on what to do.  I was integrating with a new family and a new way of living.  Even though I was welcomed warmly by HCNs and my sitemates, compared to PST I felt more solitary.  Furthermore, I was just coming down with my 5-week sickness. It was a rougher month than I how I recall now.

However, this December has been better in terms of being in the holiday mood.  After being so busy with work for most of autumn, I really looked forward to Sveti Nikola, Prilep’s (and more broadly, Macedonia’s) most widely celebrated slava.  As I mentioned in earlier posts, slavas are celebrations where the households cook enough food to fill a table and invite their closest friends and families to drink alcohol and feast.  As part of the Orthodox faith, Advent is also a period for fasting (no meat besides fish), so the typical dishes at the Sveti Nikola dinner include baked beans (similar to tavche gravche), fried breaded fish, cabbage salad, and rice-filled sarma. 

On the Sunday of Career Directions, I returned home for a few hours to help my host mother cut the cabbage leaves, which were stored in brine for some weeks.  These cabbage leaves were cut smaller than usual, since Prilep has a “special” sarma for Sveti Nikola, which is about 5X smaller than the typical sarma (Prilepska sarma is about the size of a tablespoon of butter, so I always think of them as little pillows of delicious goodness).  The big dinner was on the night of December 18, and I forgot how late families typically started eating (around 10:30PM).  I invited Husted again for the dinner, and we all enjoyed hours of endless conversation, this year made easier by my improved Macedonian.  At the end of the night, I volunteered to help my host mother by washing all of the dishes.  Ljube, my host father, worried about my comfort (washing dishes is a “woman’s” job in Macedonia) and told me to sit.  My host mother rebuked him by saying, “Let him wash!”, which I thought was funny because this short debate boiled down to a “Who’s the boss?” situation.  However, I knew how hard my host mother worked to prepare the Sveti Nikola dinner, so I continued to wash the dishes until all had been cleaned.

Prilepska Sarma

Besides attending and helping with the traditional meal, I was also busy with helping our CLIPS students bake cookies for the Sveti Nikola bake sale.  This sale is important for the students because it helps them raise funds for an excursion to Bitola or Skopje.  On Wednesday night (before Sveti Nikola), we all gathered at a CLIPS member’s house to make Christmas cookies.  I am not the biggest fan of baking, so my cooking skills were not helpful in making these treats.  For example, when making the first batch, I mixed many of the dry ingredients, all out of order, which turned those sugar cookies into more of sugar biscotti.  The second batch of sugar cookies were done right, but a visit from Sitemates of Prilep Past (Terri, a MAK16, was the master of baking) would have saved our first disastrous attempt at baking.

On Friday, our CLIPS students gathered in the center to sell the cookies while the square filled with Prilep’s citizens.  A shrine in the square was filled with devout individuals lighting candles, and then the president of Macedonia gave a few words regarding the holiday before scores of Styrofoam boxes of sarma and beans (along with rakija) were distributed to all those in the square.  CLIPS was able to capitalize on the crowds, and with the help of our students’ great selling skills, they were able to sell all of the baked goods and nearly all of the cards, enabling them to raise funds for their next field trip.

While part of enjoying this holiday season was fully participating in the Macedonian holiday of Sveti Nikola, the other part was dragging out the Western-ey Christmas festivities with our American sitemates.  On Sunday, I invited all of the new sitemates (including our Spanish EVS volunteer) to Mexican dinner.  We all gathered at my apartment as most of the MAK19s were returning from their own weekend in Ohrid.  One MAK19 decided to share her care package goodies, so Reese’s peanut butter cups and Cheetohs were devoured along with the tacos (most likely breaking this new group’s hiatus from the cuisine) and watching Love Actually. 

Later that week, a bunch of volunteers gathered for Christmas Eve in Bitola.  Contrasting last year’s desire for some spiritual fulfillment on Christmas, I decided to join the others in attending Catholic mass.  We preceded the service by gathering for a dinner at a nearby kafana, enjoying appetizers and meeting again with many of the MAK19s.  Just like the other mass that I attended last year, this one was delivered mostly in Serbo-Croatian (but also with some parts in Macedonia), but it was not until after the mass that I learned that the priest was Colombian (who spoke fluent Croatian).  Additionally, as the line for communion passed our pews, I noticed that a Filipina was taking communion, and pointed her out to Helen, a MAK19 who is half-Pinoy like me.  Talking with her after mass, we discovered that she married a Macedonian in Toronto, and they were returning to Bitola to visit his family for the holidays.  This woman joked that if you ever want to find a Filipino, no matter which country you may be in, just go to Catholic mass and you will find one (especially on Christmas!).

It is easier to feel more of the Christmas spirit the second time around in Macedonia.  I suppose that the comfort of feeling like Macedonia has become a “home away from home” makes spending Christmas in a foreign country more festive.

Career Directions

AIESEC Prilep broke its multi-year, seminar hiatus by hosting Career Directions on December 12-14.  The goal of the seminar was to prepare high school and university students in choosing their ideal career path.  A mix of company representatives and AIESEC members delivered sessions over the three days to about sixty students from the Prilep area.

Our Local Committee President decided to host this seminar to both increase the visibility of AIESEC in Prilep and to keep many of our members active.  Just like any local project, we started Career Directions by electing an Organizational Committee president, selecting her committee, and then providing support for them as they found partners for donations, marketed the seminar to students, organized the logistics and sessions, and executed the three-day event.

Since I have been busy working with AIESEC’s new system for internships and preparing my team for assisting our applicants, my involvement in this seminar had been very minimal.  Besides interviewing and providing feedback for the candidates for the organizing committee, as well as a bit of marketing among the high schools, I was not very involved in the seminar’s plan.  This compares to some of the other members of the Executive Board, who found themselves meeting with companies or creating marketing materials when the OC members fell short of their responsibilities.   Even though I feel bad because they could have used some help at times, in a way their experiences managing these tasks helped them develop their capacity, a major goal of Peace Corps.  Peace Corps may be one of the few organizations where doing less work is part of the job description, which for me is a difficult concept to grasp.

Days before the conference, it was apparent how the OC Teams efforts had materialized into success.  Over 105 students applied to attend the seminar (even though our room could only hold 70), and various companies from Macedonia, including Kromberg and Schubert, Vitaminka, Pelisterka, and Elitte Caffe donated products or money.  I also noticed a stark change in the attitudes and professionalism of the OC team.  These members were more serious during the meetings, showed patience, and really understood how to manage a project and work as a team. 

The facilitators taught the students some soft skills like emotional intelligence or thriving through uniqueness.  They also learned from companies new financial models, HR policies, and marketing.  Each day the students were required to organize an imaginary birthday party for their “brother”, and on the final day they presented their project with budgets, guest lists, a venue, and other logistics to the representatives of Kromberg and Schubert, who judged and selected the winning team.  The students really enjoyed the seminar and gave very high marks on the evaluations.

Overall this seminar really helped AIESEC Prilep and its members grow.  Due to its success, AIESEC Prilep has grown its list of partners.  It also helped market AIESEC to the students and gave them an idea of how our organization is trying to make a difference in the society.  Of course, the seminar also helped develop the skills and experiences of our members, which has made our capacity stronger and will allow us to accomplish even more ambitious things within the next year.

Donated goods for the seminar

Members of the ER & Finance team feeling good

CLIPS members ready for the seminar

Soft Skills session on Emotional Intelligence

The OC team organizing a snack break

An Overdue Update

Holy-moly.  I originally planned to use the more vulgar term, but I usually do not like to leave a paper trail of my profanity.  However, no other phrase can better preface all that has passed within the past month or so.  Inactivity from this blog probably indicated how busy I have been, and this post breaks that silence as well as foretells a (hopefully) less busy period.

These past weeks have been stressful, and not in the usual Peace Corps way.  This stress is more familiar, with deadlines and plenty of moving parts that make life an ordeal of living on a prayer and burning the midnight candle.  However, there were a few holiday parties that we celebrated that I failed to mention these past weeks, since they were nothing more than PCVs celebrating American holidays in some apartment.  However, I will present a short recap on all that has passed during the early part of December.

Corporate Sponsorship

Toward the end of November, I joined another PCV (Cindy from Bitola) on a corporate sponsorship ask at a company in Prilep.  As the Finance Coordinator for the Young Men’s Leadership Program, my main concern regarding the camp should be finding money to support the camp.  However, as grant resources from the US Embassy seem to dry up (at least for already financed and/or camp-based projects), Cindy (who works with YMCA in Bitola as the NGO managing YMLP) has decided to pursue corporate sponsorship to help fund YMLP and GLOW (the women’s version of the camp).

Overall she has been very successful in leading the charge.  But she invited me to an appointment with a company in Prilep (I will not name which one, but it is known for its snacks and sweets in Macedonia).  Even though I have some experience asking for donations or partnerships with alumni or companies while working for Admissions or Career Advancement at UChicago,  I never asked for money on behalf of a project, so I decided to stay silent and observe, at least until Cindy did her thing.  After the company agreed to donate more than we had expected, I finally used my Prilep dialect to talk up the CEO of the company, who softened up quite a bit and seemed to warm even more toward the project.  This experience was definitely exhilarating, and even though I never thought of development (fundraising) as an attractive career, having a meeting with a CEO of a foreign company was definitely a rewarding experience.

Dream Team Project

At our In-Service Training in April, Peace Corps assigned all volunteers and their counterparts to create a Dream Team project.  While it is not very clear why we needed to accomplish this, I assume that this initiative would facilitate collaboration with our counterparts, and the video or presentation produced from this collaboration would serve as marketing material for Peace Corps Macedonia.

AIESEC Prilep decided to submit its I Promise project as the Dream Team project.  Even though I collected content in September while the interns were still here, a combination of procrastination and lack of time resulted in me submitting our video right on the deadline.  Provided below is the Youtube link of the video that summarizes the success of I Promise.

http://youtu.be/UcMvVE8fYJ4

Thanksgiving

While last year’s Thanksgiving was momentous in many ways (as I scoured the forest for herbs, cooked a large dish of macaroni and cheese and squash, and ended the holiday dancing the oro with my training community), this year was a lot more subtle.  Many PCVs gathered in Bitola for Thanksgiving on Saturday, since it is forbidden for PCVs to leave site during the week.  I started the day at the faculty painting our new office.  The color is not the greatest, and I first thought it was a silly idea given how busy all of us were with our various projects.  However, the work really brought the AIESEC Prilep members together.  After being covered in blue and white specs, I rushed to a bus to Bitola, made simple dish of curried Brussels sprouts, and sat, ate, and drank on the floor for probably 8 hours.  As one volunteer mentioned that night, the PCVs in Macedonia ought to be thankful for how small the country is, since getting together for an American holiday like this becomes that much easier.

Preparing my curried Brussels sprouts for T-G dinner

Festivities in Ohrid

Since the MAK18s who live in Ohrid have birthdays very close to each other in early December, they invited us again to the carbon-copied version of Birthdays and Holidays celebration at their place.  The night of celebrations involved, just like last year, gathering for homemade food, various drinking games, and a secret Santa gift exchange (in my opinion, the most creative gift was two bottles, one filled with tequila, the other with water from a river that flows through Kumanovo).  Luckily, I was able to include some business with this trip, as I presented AIESEC’s new internship database to the university students studying in Ohrid.  Ohrid’s weather was very gorgeous that weekend, and I reveled in the ability to read for about an hour at Kaneo (the emblematic church in Ohrid) in a meditative silence absent of any tourists.

Reading outside on the lake in December- PC Macedonia perk

Post-Secret Santa Exchange

AIESEC Work

The most stressful part of these past few weeks has been managing the work with AIESEC.  All of our members have been busy learning their new functional areas or organizing Career Directions, a seminar that was hosted on December 12-14 for students in Prilep.  Members implemented their skills in business development, marketing, graphic design, and presentation skills to make the seminar a success.

Besides helping with this seminar or working with the applicants interested in going on an internship through AIESEC, I have also been writing a grant proposal for AIESEC Prilep’s next seminar, Leadership Inspirational Seminar, which will occur at the beginning of March (if we receive the funds).  I will discuss each individual project within the next few posts, but our goal to take AIESEC Prilep to the next level has given our membership a worthwhile, albeit stressful, experience.